


Denial and Deflection

by indafallen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Past Relationship(s), Previously called Deflecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indafallen/pseuds/indafallen
Summary: “When are you going to get over yourself. It’s been a year,” he says offhandedly.I freeze. I turn around and say,“When you stop being a douchebag! Merlin, why did I even date you in the first place?” I hear him scoff.“Like you didn’t enjoy it. You make it seem like we had this terrible relationship. But don’t you remember? You broke up with me, so I don’t know why you walk around like I did something horrible.”
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter & Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 16





	1. Not my Night

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: I changed the title because I thought it could be a play on "Sense and Sensibility" and I thought it was too good to pass on.

“I don’t understand!” I cry out angrily.

“Calm down, Layna. Let’s just take a second. You’ll get it. I promise,” Lily calmly tells me.

I impatiently slump down into the nearest chair and put my head in my hands. The only sounds I can hear are from the fireplace crackling on the other side of the room. It’s late and everyone else has left for bed ages ago.

“Merlin, I’m still pulling slime out of my hair,” she mutters as she wipes a piece of green goo off her hand. Sirius and the rest of the Marauders had pranked everyone who was sitting out in the courtyard a few hours ago. They called it a Slime Bomb. How creative. Unfortunately, Lily and I had been out there practicing spells and was right in the middle of the blast zone. We hexed them afterwards, but I can’t say it made me feel any better.

“I think we’ve made some progress. We’re both tired. I don’t think we can do anymore. Let’s get a good night's sleep and work on it in the morning, okay?” she says as she starts packing up to leave.

“Okay. Thank you for helping me. I’ll be up later.”

“Don’t stay up too late, Layna. You need a clear, calm head to do the spell” she says to me as she leaves to go up the stairs.

She was just being nice before. We hadn’t made any progress in the last couple of hours we’ve been working. I just don’t understand. I’m usually pretty good with charms and I had done this one before, but I can’t seem to get it right. We have our Charms final tomorrow afternoon and the revulsion jinx will take up a large percentage. We also won’t be able to do much work in the morning because we had our arithmancy final after breakfast. I decide I will just have to keep working until I get it. I didn't feel that tired anyway.

* * *

I’m such a dumbass.

It’s around 5 am and I can’t concentrate for the life of me. I don’t know why I thought I would be able to get this spell down in the middle of the night and without Lily’s help. It’s too late to go to bed since students will start to wake up in only a couple of hours. I decide to go get a cup of coffee from the kitchens, and maybe try to use the time before everyone wakes up to finally get the charm down.

I go out the portrait and start my way down to the kitchens. I walk slowly and quietly because I didn’t want to run into any prefects or teachers after curfew. I don’t think I could come up with a good excuse with my brain feeling so drowsy. I take a deep breath and look around. I really like the school at night when no one is awake. It produces a kind of calming sense that I haven’t felt anywhere else.

I get down to the kitchens and open the door after tickling the pair. It is a bit too early for the elves to be making breakfast, so the room is empty and quiet. I go to the counter to make a cup of coffee. Just as soon as I finish brewing it, my hand slips and I spill it all over my shirt.

“Shit!” I whisper. Thankfully it wasn’t too hot, just very wet. I wipe up the mess and try to make another cup. I successfully finish making it and sit down to drink it. About a minute after I sat down, I hear a cough behind me. I whip around and see a man sitting on the fireplace a few feet away. I squint my eyes through the darkness and see he has long black hair, handsome eyes, and a smug looking face. It was Sirius Black.

“How long have you been there?” I ask nervously.

“A few minutes. You’ve got a little something on your shirt.” He teases.

I look down and see the large coffee stain covering my shirt. I roll my eyes and say,”What are you even doing here?”

“James and I were out on business. We had some plans to take care of. By the way, don’t sit at the Slytherin table at breakfast this morning,” he says with a grin. “We were in the middle of something when I remembered I forgot something in the kitchens. Then I see you walk in oh so gracefully. I was going to leave before you saw me, but I was too curious to know why you were out in the middle of the night.”

“Felt like having a nice cup of coffee, but you have ruined that. Thank you and good bye.” I place my empty cup in the sink and start towards the door.

“When are you going to get over yourself? It's been a year,” he says offhandedly.

I freeze. Did he really just say that? He is such an asshole. I turn around and say, “When you stop being an arrogant douchebag!”

“Clever,” he scoffs.

“Besides, I’m not the one who needs to get over myself. You walk around like you’re some saint that everyone adores,” I say, throwing my hands up in the air. I should have stopped there, but I kept on going. “I saw you in the courtyard before your stupid prank sticking your tongue down some Ravenclaw’s throat. Don’t you think she’s a bit young? You may have to hire a sitter.” He frowns at me.

“Careful, Layna. Jealousy doesn’t look good on you.”

“You wish,” I say with a laugh. “Merlin, why did I even date you in the first place?” I say more to myself.

I hear him scoff. “Like you didn’t enjoy it. You make it seem like we had this terrible relationship. But don’t you remember? You broke up with me, so I don’t know why you walk around like I did something horrible.” he says now standing up.

Nope. This shouldn’t be happening right now. It’s too early in the morning. I can’t deal with him and the feelings that go along. I still had to perfect the spell for the final. Yes, I needed to focus on the spell.

“I can’t do this right now. I have to finish something for tomorrow” I say tiredly. I hurry to the door and walk out.

As I walk back to the common room I can’t stop thinking about what he said. Merlin, why does he have to be such an arrogant son of a bitch. Yes, it’s true I broke up with him, but I had a reason to. What was I supposed to do? Say that I want to still be friends? Of course not. I didn’t want that and I know he didn’t either. We were better off staying away from each other. But he wasn’t wrong about our time together. It wasn’t all bad, but it was full of fights, insecurities, and waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Definitely not what you call “stable”.

I stop and realise I’m almost to the common room. I had luckily not run into anyone while distracted by my thoughts. As I turn a corner, I have to stop myself from bumping into someone. I guess I spoke too soon. At first I think it might be Sirius coming back to talk to me, but then I see the glasses and unkempt hair.

“Layna, sorry I didn’t see you. What are you doing out? Actually, nevermind. Have you seen Sirius?” James asks.

“Yes, unfortunately. Check the kitchens,” I say and try to pass him. I did not feel like having a conversation with another Marauder tonight.

“You know you two should really make up. It’s been a year. Also, when Lily eventually agrees to go out with me I want all of us to hang out together” he says happily behind me.

“I wouldn’t hold my breath on any of those things happening, James,” I call back annoyed.

I walk through the portrait and see none other than Remus Lupin standing in the middle of the room. This really wasn’t my night.

“Oh, uh Layna. You know you really shouldn’t be out after curfew,” he says to me hesitantly.

“You’re one to talk, Remus. I’m sure you’re a part of whatever Potter and Black are doing right now. And sure you could deduct points or turn me in, but then I could turn in James or Sirius right now for also being out. And I know you don’t want that.” I say, crossing my arms. I’m usually pretty nice to Remus. We occasionally studied together in the library and had been table partners many times over the years. However, my coffee hadn’t quite kicked in yet, and my two run-ins had greatly tested my patience.

“Fair enough,” he says slowly. “What are you doing up?” he asks to change the subject.

“Practicing the revulsion jinx. I need it for the final tomorrow,” I say as I go to the table I had been working at.

He smiles and says, “Ah. That’s a tricky one. We missed class that day, but I already knew it. Maybe I can help you. You know if you want. The others won’t be back for a while, and I was supposed to stay here as back-up.”

“Yeah, okay thanks. Lily was helping me earlier, but was smart enough to go to sleep hours ago.”

“Let’s see what you have”

I get in position and point my wand at two sets of chains I had wrapped together.

“Relashio!” the chains did nothing. I sigh. “See I don’t understand why it’s not working. I’ve done everything exactly as I should. I did it during class, but haven’t gotten it since,” I say defeatedly.

“It worked during class? Did you do anything differently after that?”

“I don’t think so. We learned this a week ago. I hadn’t done it since because I perfected during class time and didn’t need to work on it. When Lily and I were studying out in the courtyard today was the first time I had tried doing it since. By the way both of us still have slime in our hair so thanks for that.”

“Sorry about that,” he says sheepishly. “You know you need a clear mind for this spell in particular. Maybe you’re still mad about,” he pauses and thinks for a second. “ the slime. That might be why it’s not working,” he finishes.

“That doesn’t make sense. That was hours ago. I’ve forgotten about it by now.” I say confused.

Remus opens his mouth to answer, but stops and turns as the portrait door opens. In walks Sirius, James and Peter. Just what I wanted. To interact with all four of the Marauders tonight.

“Remus, what are you doing?” Peter asks nervously while looking from him to me.

“Just talking to Layna. You’re back early. You weren’t supposed to be done for another twenty minutes” Remus answers.

“We had to skip some parts because Sirius got distracted,” James says grinning at me. I glare at him. I didn’t want to be pulled into their conversation. I had more than enough of them today.

“Thank Layna for that. She tried to seduce me down in the kitchens” he says with a smirk. I bite my tongue and glare at him. I know all too well that he’s just trying to get a rise out of me for his enjoyment.

“I’m going upstairs. Thanks for the help Remus” I say ignoring what Sirius said. My grades are not worth putting up with him twice in one night. I’ve accepted defeat at this point. I’ll try to work on it in between classes and meals tomorrow.

I quickly leave the common room and I go up to my dorm. I come in as quiet as I can, so I don’t wake anyone up, especially Lilly. It’s still dark so I carefully make my way to my bed. Leaving my clothes on except for my shoes, I lay down with a sigh. I look up at the clock and see it’s about an hour before my roommates wake up to get ready.

With my thoughts still raging about Sirius and what Remus said, I know I won’t be able to sleep, but I still try. Hopefully a bit of rest will help me get the spell down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: So I changed some things around. The most noticeable is replacing y/n with Layna.


	2. Sugar Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I had planned well before starting but I hadn't, so I went back and edited the first chapter. You don't have to go reread it to understand, but I recommend it because I added some fun details.

About an hour later, I hear Lily start to wake up and get ready. I wasn’t able to get any rest since the coffee kind of kicked in, and my mind couldn’t stop thinking of all the comebacks I should have said to Sirius earlier. I didn’t want Lily to know I stayed up all night, so I pretended to be asleep. I didn’t need the lecture about how a good night's sleep was important for spellcasting. I was already giving it to myself in my head.

When I hear her close the bathroom door, I open my eyes and see that the sun is starting to come up. I swing my legs out of bed and start changing into my school robes. The rest of my roommates were still sound asleep. Normally I would be as well, and Lilly would wake us all up as she went down for breakfast. That was obviously not the case this morning. Deciding I should go ahead and eat breakfast to save time to practice the jinx, I open the door to the dorm and head down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

On my way I think about what Remus said last night. He said that the reason I can’t get the spell was because I was still upset about the prank in the courtyard. That’s ridiculous. Of course I’m not still hung up on the prank. If I was mad every single time I was a victim of a Marauders prank, then I would never be able to cast a single spell again. Besides, Lily was annoyed with the prank too and is still able to cast the charm.

It’s still pretty early, so not many people are in the Great Hall yet. I haven’t had anything to eat dince dinner last night, so everything smells especially amazing. I sit down at the Gryffindor table and load up my plate. If I hurry I should be able to have half an hour to practice the spell. Pouring myself some coffee, someone sits down beside me. I turn my head and see bright red hair and green eyes.

“Good morning, Layna. You’re up pretty early, What time did you go to bed?” Lily asks.

“Maybe thirty minutes after you left,” I lied. “I never got the jinx down,” I say annoyed.

“We can go down to the courtyard and work on it after breakfast before Arithmancy.”

“Okay, thanks.”

My mind goes back to what Remus said. I want to get her opinion on it, so she can reassure me that I was, in fact, not still upset about the prank. “After you left Remus came into the common room and offered to help me,” I say as she turns towards me. “After trying a couple of times, he said I might still be upset about the slime prank they had done earlier, and that’s why I can’t cast the jinx,” I tell her, waiting for a response.

“Hmm,” she says in thought. “I don’t think that’s the case. Also, you were just as angry as I was, and I could do the spell perfectly fine.”

“That’s what I thought! Thank you,” I say overly relieved and smiling. She laughs at my outburst and gives me a questioning look before grabbing a muffin and standing up.

“I’m done if you want to go to the courtyard and practice now.”

“Okay, one sec,” I say before I take one last sip of coffee and stand up. We walk outside to the courtyard and find a place in the corner to work.

We need two things to separate from each other, so we take our scarves and wrap them together. I get into position as Lily places them on the ground. When she steps away I take a deep breath and say, “ _Relashio_!”. Nothing happens.

“I don’t know what I thought would happen,” I say with a sad laugh.

“Everything's still fine. Your pronunciation, stance, and wand movement is right,” she thinks out loud and pauses. Then says, “You may not be upset about the Slime Bomb, but there’s still something preventing you from having a clear head.”

I’m thinking about what she said as three other people walk into the courtyard. Two guys and one girl. One of the guys has unruly brown hair and glasses and the other has long black hair and the girl around his arm. She’s the same girl he was hanging out with in the courtyard yesterday before the Slime Bomb went off. She’s giggling hard at something he’s said.

“Ugh, merlin. Don’t make eye contact,” Lily says in disgust. We turn around and try to look busy.

“Lily, darling!” James yells behind us. We both flinch. “Did you see all of the Slytherin’s faces turn red and gold during breakfast?” James asked proudly.

She turns around and says,”No, we were lucky enough to miss it. We’re kind of busy, so if you don’t mind.”

James says something to her but I don’t hear. I was distracted by Sirius and the girl. He’s smirking and whispering in the still giggling girl's ear. I roll my eyes. He looks at me and says, ”You should be careful Layna. Your eyes might get stuck in the back of your head.” The Ravenclaw laughs like it’s the funniest thing in the world. I glare at them both. Usually I could ignore his remarks, but I had gotten zero sleep and had more important things to do.

“Funny,” I say sarcastically. “But you know, Sirius, _you_ should be careful about who you date. One would think you had a kink for being a sugar daddy.” The girl isn’t giggling anymore.

James and Lily stop their conversation to stare at me. Lily looks at me with her mouth open, but James looks like he wanted to laugh. Sirius narrows his eyes at me and says,”You didn’t seem to have any complaints about who I was dating when it was you I was with.”

I should have seen that coming. I go to answer, but James beats me to it. He says grinning at Lily, ”So love, how about that Hogsmead date?”

“For the last time, don’t call me that and _no_. If you ask me again, I’ll hex you. Come on, Layna.  
We can practice somewhere else,” she says as she grabs my arm and pulls me away.

We don’t look back until we’re both inside. We go up the stairs towards the Arithmancy classroom. We still have 15 minutes until the final, so we stop at a window seat in the hallway.

“Alright, this will do,” she says as she starts setting up the scarves again.

As she ties them together, I think about Sirius and James. Frustrated, I say,”Ugh! Why do Sirius and James have to be such annoying brats? It’s like we can’t escape them for merlin’s sake.”

She opens her mouth to respond but stops herself. She looks down at the scarves and furrows her brow in thought.

“What?” I am confused. “Don’t tell me James has finally grown on you,” I laugh.

“No, of course not,” she says distracted. She pauses and finally looks up at me and says,”Sorry, nevermind. Go ahead and try the spell again.”

“Okay.” I give her one more look before raising my wand and saying, “ _Relashio_!” The scarves, once again, do absolutely nothing.

“I think I know why it’s not working,” she says hesitantly.

“Really?” I say surprised. “Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You’re still hung up on Sirius,” she says as she looks up at me grimly.

“ _What_? Lily, you can’t be serious.” She shrugs.

“I know it’s crazy but just listen. It’s true, you weren’t too upset about the slime prank, but you were upset about Sirius. I remember yesterday Sirius and that Ravenclaw were snogging on the other side of the courtyard. I saw you glaring at them,” she finishes sympathetically.

I go to argue but she quickly says, ”And you couldn’t do the charm later in the common room because you were still frustrated about Sirius,” she says matter of factly.” And finally, you could do the charm in class because I remember the Marauders weren't there that day,” she finishes with a deep breath.

I stare at her with wide eyes. Shit, what am I supposed to say to that? I mean of course it’s not true. It’s been a year so why would I still be hung up on Sirius? I smile at her sweetly.

“Awe, Lily. Maybe you are warming up to James. You remember when he’s not in class a whole week ago,” I pat her arm reassuringly.  
“What? Layna-”

Before she could finish, I pick up our scarves and hurry away. “Come on. We don’t want to be late for the final,” I say behind me. I see her looking at me like I had grown another head, but she starts to follow anyway. When she catches up, I can tell she’s annoyed and wants to say something, but thankfully, she keeps quiet.

On our walk to the Arithmancy class room, I start to think about what she said. Was she on to something? Of course not. I broke up with him. And like everyone keeps saying, it’s been a year. There must be another answer. I get interrupted from my thoughts by Lily talking.

“I can hear you thinking from here, Layna,” Lily says knowingly once we got outside the classroom. “You can figure it out later though. We have a final to ace,” she says with a smile.

I smile back at her. She’s right. I’ll worry about all that stuff after the Arithmancy final.


	3. The Lost Quill

“I had trouble on the last question, but besides that, I think it wasn’t too bad,” Lilly says beside me as we walk out of the Arithmancy classroom several hours later. I didn’t think the last question was very hard, but if Lily had trouble with it, then maybe I had read the question wrong.

“Hey, Layna, wait up,” says a deep voice behind me.

I turn and see Remus coming out of the room. I smile and wait for him to catch up. “Hey, Remus. What did you think of the final?” I ask as we start walking down to the Great Hall for lunch.

“Easier than I thought it would be, but I had no idea how to solve the last question,” he says.

“Yeah, me too!” Lilly says.

I laugh and say,“If both you _and_ Remus had trouble, then I definitely didn’t do the question right. That’s fine. I’m definitely not taking it next year.”

Lily starts asking Remus questions about the final, and I accidentally zoning out. I think I left my quill in the classroom. Oh well, I’ll just borrow one of Lilly’s. I just spent over three hours in there, and I don’t want to go back. If I see another Greek letter equation, I think I might go insane. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to take N.E.W.T level Arithmancy. I don’t even like math.

“Oh, I was going to ask you, Layna. Did you ever get the Revulsion Jinx?” Remus asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“No, unfortunately,” I say hoping he won’t mention me being up all night in front of Lily.

“Aw, that sucks. I’m sure you can get it before the final. Like I said earlier, I think it’s just a mental block.”

“That’s what I told her,” Lily agrees while they share a knowing look.

“We tried doing it outside this morning, but I couldn’t focus because _Lily_ got distracted by James,” I say smirking at Lily. She rolls her eyes, probably thinking about how she can hide from him the next time he spots her.

“It probably didn’t help that you stayed up till 5 AM trying it,” he says with a chuckle. “I’m surprised you haven’t gotten it though.” However I don’t hear him say this because Lily had whipped her head toward me and glared.

“I thought you said you went to bed thirty minutes after me!”

“Oops. Sorry, Layna,” Remus says sheepishly.

“That’s okay,” I say to Remus. “I stayed up to practice the charm. Sorry, I lied. I’ll just sleep a lot on the weekend. But it’s fine. I’m not even that tired,” I say. Who am I kidding? I’m exhausted, but neither of us had time for her lecture about circadian rhythms.

“Fine, but Remus is right. Staying up all night didn’t help with your chances of getting the spell,” she says in a motherly tone.

“I know. I know. I’ve already told myself this many times in the past several hours.”

“Well, we have a little over an hour before the final. Why don’t we take our lunch and study up in the common room,” she suggests. I nod at her as we walk into the Great Hall. We wave Remus goodbye as he walks over to sit down. We quickly grab a few sandwiches and walk out the large double doors.

“So where did you say you were going on vacation?” I ask her as we make our way up to the Gryffindor tower.

“My family and I are planning on going to France,” she says excitedly.

“That sounds fun! I’ve been to Paris. It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, I think I'm looking forward to going to the Louvre the most. Petunia and I used to talk as kids about buying all the paintings and decorating our house with them,” she says with a sad smile.

“Maybe you too will have a chance to become closer again while on the trip,” I say hopefully.

“Yeah maybe,” she says looking down at the ground. She looks up quickly and says, “hey didn’t you say you got an internship at the ministry?”

“Yeah! I’m still surprised my mother was able to work it out. I’m very excited. I’ll probably just make copies and stuff, but I’ll still get to see how some of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement works.”

“I’m jealous. They don’t give out internships at the Ministry to just anyone. Especially in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement,” she says grinning at me.

I laugh and say, ”I’m pretty sure it was just nepotism at its finest.”

We get up to the tower and the Fat Lady lets us inside after we say the password. We set up the scarves like the last time, and without much thought, I go to do the spell. “ _Relashio_!” I say. Purple light bursts out of my wand and the scarves are flung apart.

“Ha! I did it!” I say jumping in the air. I look at Lily to see her giving me an odd smile. I give her a confused look, but she ignores it and goes to set up the scarves again.

“Good job! Now let’s do it a few more times to make sure you’ve got it down,” she says.

After about fifteen more minutes of successfully casting the jinx, I’m feeling great. I’m not upset about staying up all night anymore because I have finally gotten it. I haven’t even thought about what Lily said before Arithmancy because it didn’t matter anymore.

Then the portrait door opens and in walks all four of the Marauders. Lily tries to hide behind me, but James immediately sees her and walks over, much to her dismay. The other three follow him. I see Remus and smile. I can’t wait to tell him the good news.

“Remus! Guess what?” I ask excitedly. Before he can answer I tell him, “I got the charm down!”

“That’s great, Layna! You’ve done countless spells that are harder than the revulsion jinx. I knew you would get it,” he says kindly.

“The revulsion jinx? Isn’t that the one you were having trouble with, Sirius?” Peter asks before looking guilty when Sirius glares at him.

“No, I’ve got it. Done it loads of times,” he says quickly and rolling his eyes arrogantly.

James stops talking to Lily and turns, “Are you sure, mate? I thought that was the one Remus was quizzing us on a couple of days ago. You couldn’t do it for some reason.” Sirius elbows him in the arm. I let out a small laugh.

He narrows his eyes at me and smirks. “If you’re so confident, let’s see you do it,” he says, gesturing expectantly. I scoff at him.

“You know, Layna, maybe you should ignore him,” Lily whispers to me.

I ignore her and raise my wand to the scarves and say,” _Relashio_!” Purple sparks sadly come out of my wand, but the scarves don’t move. “What the hell? It was just working” I exclaim and look down at my wand. I glance at Lily and Remus to see that they’re looking at each other. I know what they’re thinking, but they’re wrong. It’s simply not the case. That was just a fluke.

I hear Sirius laugh and say, “Aw that’s too bad. I was so excited to see it.”

“Whatever, Black. I don’t need to prove myself to you of all people,” I say confidently. But I can’t stop thinking. Why did it not work? It was working just a second ago before they came in. Merlin, maybe Lily was on to something. The only times I’ve gotten it is when Sirius is not present and he hasn't annoyed me for a long time. This isn’t good. “I think I’ve lost my quill,” I say suddenly. Everyone stops talking and turns toward me. I see Lily looking at me with her brows furrowed before I run up the stairs to the girl’s dorm.

I fling the door open and walk into the bathroom. I place my hands on the sink and look at myself in the mirror. I see that my eyes have a crazed look to them and there are heavy bags under them. “This is insane,” I say to myself. Why in the world would I still be upset about Sirius? I broke up with him! You know what? I’m sure it has nothing to do with our past relationship. It’s just that he has an annoying but strong talent for getting on my last nerve and distracting me. That’s it.

“So what do I do now?” I ask. I still needed to do the damn spell somehow. Trying not to think about him hasn’t exactly worked so far. I could just not deal with it, but then I might fail my final, and I can’t let that smug asshole be the reason I fail Charms.

“Layna, are you okay?” I hear Lily ask as she opens the door to the dorm.

“Uh, not really. I never found my quill,” I say quickly, coming out of the bathroom. She raises an eyebrow and smiles sympathetically.

“Yeah? Do you want to talk about it?” she asks. She definitely knows. Of course she does. She knew before I did.

“Not really, but I might fail my Charms final without it,” I say, still not wanting to admit the truth.

“Not if you try to find it,” she says gently.

“What if it doesn’t want to be found” I grumble out while looking at the floor.

“I’m pretty sure it does. Besides, you need it for more than just the Charms final.”

“I do not need it,” I say quickly.

She sighs. “No, of course not, but it’s been a year since you’ve ‘lost’ it,” she says rolling her eyes. “I know you still think about it. You having trouble with the charm is just a symptom of that,” she says patiently.

I let out a growl and without thinking, I say, “But _I_ broke up with _him_!”

She nods, “yes, but you two were doing really good. It was longer than both of you had ever dated anyone else. And then suddenly you two broke up, and you never talked about it afterward.” She pauses and finally says, “You need to decide. Either work this out or let it keep affecting you.”

I stop, and I think back to a year ago. The Hogsmeade dates. Stolen kisses in between classes. Laughing by the Black Lake. She was right. I had somehow convinced myself our relationship was terrible. It’s true we fought like any other couple, but we were happy. And then I ended it and convinced myself it was for the best, so I didn’t have to regret it.

“You’re right. Shit, how long have you known?” I ask her, shocked.

“A while, but I wasn’t sure until this morning.” She smiles. “You still have about twenty minutes until the exam. Maybe you can still find him.”

I frown thinking about having to confront him. “Yeah, okay. This should be fine. I’ve talked to him loads of times,” I say, shakily backing out towards the door.

“You’ll do great. It’s obvious he still has feelings for you,” she says encouragingly. I stop at the door and stare, still thinking about what I’m going to say. “Layna, you should probably hurry,” she says.

“Right. Yes, of course,” I say with a nod quickly opening the door. “Oh! Also, I actually did lose my quill, so can I borrow yours?,” I turn to look at her.

“Yes. Now go!” she says with a laugh.

I hurry down the stairs and look around the common room for Sirius, trying to spot his long black hair. I don’t see him but I spot Peter sitting by the fireplace. I run over to him.

“Hey, do you know where Sirius is?” I ask out of breath.

He looks at me weirdly but says, ”Yeah he went with Remus and James to study for finals.”

“Where?”

“In the courtyard,” he says, still looking at me funny.

I yell out a thanks before running out the portrait door. The courtyard is about five minutes away from the Charms classroom, so I need to hurry if I still want to make it to the final. I race down the several flights of stairs and through the busy corridors. I don’t notice the students turn to stare at me as I fly past them. I pass the Great Hall and finally run down the last set of stairs. My legs are burning and I’m out of breath by the time I run out the doors. I spot the three Marauders sitting on a couple of benches and hurry over.

“Hey, Layna, did you find your quill?” Remus frowns, looking at my frantic state. I make eye contact with Sirius, and everything that I thought about saying to him on my way downstairs leaves my brain. He’s staring up at me with his brows slightly furrowed and head tilted. I stare back into the pale blue eyes until I finally pull myself back to reality and look away.

“Uh, no I didn’t,” I tell Remus.

“That’s too bad. I have a spare if you-”

“Sirius stole it!” I interrupt. Very subtle, Layna. It’s fine, I can work with this.

He looks at me with wide eyes and laughs. “No, I didn’t,” he says confused.

“Yes, you did. Come see,” I say quickly and pull him away by his shirtsleeve. They look at me like I’m mad, but I ignore it. Thankfully he doesn’t put up a fight and allows me to pull him behind a pillar several yards away. I release his sleeve and back up a couple of feet.

I start to say something, but he beats me to it and says, ”Look I’m really sorry about your quill. I’m sure it was very special, but I didn’t take it. Now I have to go back to studying for charms.”

He turns to leave, but I say, “So you still haven’t gotten the jinx down?”

“I don’t know. Have you?” he says defensively.

“No,” I mumble. He’s staring down at me with a blank expression. Do I just rip off the band-aid and come clean, or do I ease into it? I probably only have about fifteen minutes until the final, so I guess I should just say it as quickly as possible. Wait, what exactly am I saying again?

Before I can think of something, Sirius blurts, “Why did you break up with me?” I stare up at him with wide eyes. I try to respond, but nothing comes out.

“I’m sorry I did,” I say finally, looking away.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he says. I sigh.

“I thought it was just going to be a fling,” I reveal. “You had never been in a serious relationship, and I hadn’t either,” I admit, still not looking at him. He takes a step towards me.

“So what? You didn’t feel the same way?” he says confused. “Or did you get scared that you were actually starting to have real feelings?” he scoffs, now angry.

“Hey, don’t lecture _me_ about commitment! If I hadn’t ended it, then you would have sooner or later, ” I yell at him and step forward. He gazes down at me.

“No, I wouldn’t have,” he whispers. I realize we’re now standing close together, our chests almost touching. I can smell his cologne. It’s still the same one he wore a year ago.

“Sure,” I breathe out in disbelief. His blue eyes soften at me.

“I wouldn’t have,” he says softly, and I believe him.

“Everyone keeps telling me it’s been a year, but it doesn’t feel that long to me,” I sigh. “Does it for you?” I ask quietly.

“No, it doesn’t.” He shakes his head and says, “Do you ever think about it?”

“I couldn’t get the stupid spell right because I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” I admit.

He smiles at me and says, “Yeah, I couldn’t either.” He glances down at my lips.

I almost start to lean my head in, but then I remember, “What about that Ravenclaw?”

He pauses and then rubs his neck. “I kind of broke up with her after you left this morning. She’s a bit young,” he says sheepishly. I smile at him.

“Aw, who’s going to giggle at your jokes now?” I tease.

“Very funny,” he smirks at me. He starts to say something else, but someone comes around the corner. We quickly step away from each other.

“Hey, are you two done snogging because we have a final to get to,” James says smirking at us. I can feel my face go red, and I see Sirius glaring at James.

“Snogging? What are you talking about?” I sputter at him.

“I figured it out, Layna,” Remus says, stepping out from behind James. “You both were having trouble on the same spell, and I connected the dots. So can you do the Jinx now?” he asks, placing two sets of chains wrapped together on the ground.

“I don’t know. Let's see,” Sirius says looking at me with an eyebrow raised. I smile at him and point my wand at the set on the right. He points his at the set on the left and nods to me. I nod back and take a deep breath.

“ _Relashio_!”

Both of our wands shoot out a bright purple light, and the chains instantly break apart from each other. I let out a laugh and turn towards him, flinging my arms around his neck. I feel him tense at first but then he wraps his arms around me. A second passes, and I realise that James and Remus were still there. I blush and quickly let go of him, looking down at his shoes.

“Sorry. I got excited,” I say with a nervous laugh. I look up at him as he places both of his hands on my cheeks. Before I can react, he leans down and presses his lips to mine. I let out a surprised noise but then close my eyes. I smile against his lips and kiss him back. Merlin, I missed him. I don’t know how long we’ve been kissing before I hear a quiet cough behind us.

“Hate to interrupt, but we really do need to go,” Remus says.

“Right,” I say, pulling away, out of breath. “What time is it?,” I say, trying to remember what I was doing.

“We have six minutes till it starts,” James says looking down at his watch.

“Well what are we waiting for? Really James, you should be more careful. And you too Remus,” Sirius says with a frown as he takes my hand and pulls me towards the building. I laugh at him as we all race upstairs towards the classroom. When we turn on to the hall, I see Lily nervously waiting outside the door. She lets out a sigh of relief when she spots me running towards her. She looks at me, then at Sirius, and smiles.

“I see you’ve found your quill,” she says teasingly once we get closer.

I grin and say, “I still need to borrow yours.”

She furrows her brow and says, “You know we’ve been talking about Sirius and not a quill this entire time, right?”

I laugh and grab Sirius’s hand to hold up and show her. “Yes, Lily, I understand,” I tell her as we walk into the classroom, ready to ace our final.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked writing this last chapter, and I'm kind of sad it's ending. Who knows, I might write a prequel or one-shot later on if I feel like it.


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